Mindset is one of those enormous categories that we literally could talk about forever. In a quick glimpse most of us immediately assign a person (or ourselves) into one of two buckets:
- Glass is half empty
- Glass is half full
I am here to tell you:
- Refills are free! Just start where you are.
What is a mindset?
Mindsets are beliefs—beliefs about yourself and your most basic qualities. Think about your intelligence, your talents, your personality.
- People with a fixed mindset believe that their traits are just givens. They have a certain amount of brains and talent and nothing can change that. (half empty)
- People with a growth mindset expect that we can improve our ability — and a failure shows us what we need to work on. (half full).
When you have a fixed mindset it is often difficult to hear criticism or believe that you can ever be successful at something.
People with a growth mindset have resilience around failures and are able to objectively critique themselves to see where improvements can be made.
Here’s a very basic example from one of my coaching clients who was struggling with self esteem and motivation. We discussed the power of exercise and I asked if she had ever considered yoga as an excellent mind / body workout. Her response was, “I am not bendy” and can’t do yoga. We talked about his a little bit. First, maybe she isn’t in the right yoga practice or class, I will give her that. Second, and much more importantly, maybe NO ONE there cares about her downward dog. Maybe they are all fighting their own battles to do the same pose. Maybe you have made someone’s day by ALSO struggling with the pose. She was fixed on “not being a yoga person”, meanwhile, not engaging in any type of exercise (we will discuss mindset and exercise in greater detail in a couple of weeks).
Having a growth mindset around something as basic as going into a yoga class, where you don’t know anyone and aren’t “good at it” allows you the ability to frame other situations. By frame, I mean put similar parameters around situations and gauge how you will feel or how you will handle the new situation. For many having the ability to frame relieves stress or anxiety and can provide you with a more growth based mindset.
Example: You are going into a new situation at work and don’t know anyone on your new team. You know from yoga that smiling with simple hello’s and isn’t the weather grand, or wow, that was a great class is a gentle way to break into the setting. You may feel most comfortable starting in the back corner, and eventually maybe work your way into a middle row. You know that overtime you gain strength and flexibility, some things come easily right away and others need a little work. Same with a new group at work. Some people may be welcoming, you may be a casual observer for a little while to understand the dynamic, eventually you will feel more confident and comfortable in the setting. Because you had the ability to frame, you understood that the initial feelings of discomfort would pass with a little time and some basic interaction.
Mindset transcends into all areas of our life and really is a snowball. Here is a TEDx video featuring Carol Dweck and talking about the power of Not Yet. Adding Not Yet to the end of a sentence opens huge possibilities:
- I don’t get it….yet
- I can’t do it…yet
It is not uncommon for people to need help working out of a fixed mindset, and please note that your mindset can vary by area in your life! You can feel completely confident around your role at home with your children and stuck when it comes to looking for a job. Or perhaps you are feeling depressed and can’t figure out why, please let me help you refill your glass. I meet with clients in my new Duxbury office (40 Tremont St. Bldg 11 Suite 33) or via Skype or the phone.
You may enjoy other articles I have written on Mindset:
- Keeping with an Attitude of Gratitude
- Hearts of Gratitude
- You Ultimate High Energy Day
- Heart of the Game
